A little note to my family...

I know some of the things I have said and done are not easy for you to understand. My whole life you have stuck by me and guided me through difficult situations and never once did you give up on me. I thank you for always telling me how beautiful I am even if I never see it and who knows maybe one day I will. You have cried with me and you have been angry with me when someone I thought I loved broke my heart. You are all my reason for living. I have made many mistakes and one day I plan on making it all right. I have let myself fall right to the bottom of that so called bottomless pit and now only I can find the strength to crawl out one inch at a time. I have put myself into financial debt. I have betrayed my body and mind. I have given in to sins of the flesh and of the mind. I let my morals wash away with every sip of beer and wine. I have lied to my family and myself. I am a daughter, a mother, and a sister. I have to make my life better not only for me but for the life of my son. I wish to be that happy person you all remember. It will take time for me to heal. Time for me to find the person I used to be so long ago. I want to tell you all just how much I love you. First of all my son. Thank you for saving me from a life of pure distruction. You will never know just how much I love you and thank the Lord for you. My mom. Thank you so much for crying with meall those years I was teased and had no one else to turn to. Daddy. I can't thank you enough for everything you have ever done for me. You are the man in my life that I have always been able to count on and let me know with every tear just how strong a fathers love for his daughter was. Cori. My beautiful sister. I love how strong headed you are. I see a strength in you that I have never seen before in anyone. You are a wonderful mother and wife. I only hope to be like my little sister one day. Casey. I am so proud of you. You went from a bratty little brother to someone that would lay his life on the line for anyone. Even the enemy. I love you for crying with me when you saw me hurting. Thank you for wanting to beat up the men who broke my heart. I couldn't imagine my life with none of you in it. I want to make you all so proud of me. I want to be the daughter, sister, and mother that you all will be proud of. Thank you all for believing in me even when I was letting myself crash.